too tired..

actually I'm not in mood to talk, to think, to do anything..
but still this morning, kuatkan semangat nak pergi swimming..
tapi bila sampai giliran syamil, aku tgk dia menggigil2 and he said he feel sick..ooh gosh!im just feel very tired and sad..syamil is sick!
with all my work, my life yg agak tak betul, my feeling, i feel like i can't handle this for the time being and i'm start crying..it just not me for the moment.
but being a single mother, no matter what, i have to be strong when its come to my child. even i feel week, i feel hopeless, i feel like dying, still i have to do something..
so after arrived at home, i start giving him something to eat(even he refuse it, there where i start crying again coz suddenly it reminds me when he fall sick at taiping two years before and had been admitted to ward), and i gave him medicine and he sleep deeply after that..with my tiredness i done all the housework and get some sleep to recharge my energy.
what a tiring weekend i guess.now he seems a little bit better after eating some soup with rice and drinking plenty of water. but i think i still need watch out for midnight.and again, i'm still not finished my conference paper-which i can't do the think right now..it just hopeless..i'm useless..